A Message to You.

I loved you. I still do.

When we met, you made all the pain go away. Pain that I thought would last forever. Pain from my family and school. Pain from heartbreak. You made everything seem perfect for once. When we were together, it was like magic. We had moments I thought only existed in movies or fairytales. But they happened. To me. And I want to thank you for fixing me. For making me believe again.

One of the hardest things I had to do was looking you in the eyes and say goodbye without breaking down right then and there. I had to pull myself together and just say it. And then when you basically said it for me...

"You have no idea how much I'm going to miss you"

I wanted to die. Because, yes I would. I feel it every day. Every hour I'm awake. It haunts my nightmares, taints my dreams. Every moment of every day. You're there. In my mind. All of our memories come flooding back. It makes it so I can't concentrate on anything. It makes it so I want to break down again.

I hate myself for this. Because it is also one of the most difficult things I have done. But we can't see each other, or really talk all too often. Something like this was bound to happen. And maybe in the future... Who knows? Maybe we will reunite and it will all be better.

I ignored all the people who said long distance relationships never work. Because they didn't know us. But maybe they were right. And it hurts. It feels like I am ripping in two. I can't stand this lonely feeling I get when I think of how happy we were at one point, and how it feels like I'm throwing it all away.

I never wanted to do this.... giving up on us. You know that, I hope. You know I would do almost anything for you. You know I love you. With everything I have. But the pain and stress isn't making either of us happy. And that's what I want most. Is for you to be happy. Because this can't be what you want either.

I wish so badly it were different. But it isn't and we can't go on forcing something that doesn't work...

I love you so much. And I'll miss you. I do miss you. With every breath I take. I just wanted you to know. I'm so sorry about this. I hope you can be happier, too. I hope I can also.

Don't forget me. Because remember, I wasn't lying.

No, this will not be the last time we are together.

All my love,

GirlInBlue

lessthanslashthree.