Sometimes you just can't help but wonder why about some things.
Why is the world such a bad place but so filled with beautiful splendor at the same time? Why are things too good to be true? Why must all good things come to an end? Why must humanity be so hate-ridden? Why do you love me?
"Why are you asking?"
Because I'm too weird and scatter-brained and I don't have very much confidence. I'm kind of short and clumsy and not the most attractive girl. My hair doesn't go right, my clothes don't always look right, and I trip over my feet and bite my nails and blush too much. I obsess over things and have unreasonable fears and this can cause me to be somewhat over-emotional, which means I cry a lot. I'm a bit of a loser and I think about things I don't think anybody else thinks about and I have terrible sleep insomnia. I write weird songs and I have potential but no serious talent. I'm not extraordinary at much of anything and I'm still trying to find my place. I'm really sappy and fall for lies and traps and get sucked into things and I don't speak up when something is bothering me. I don't really stick up for myself, or really for anyone else except for those very close to me, and these people are few. I stumble over words and sometimes I eat too much and I'm not athletic. My head is in the clouds and I'm always day dreaming and I'm obsessed with the sea and the sky and the color blue. I dream about the future and what it will be like or what it won't be like, and I try to picture myself in almost any situation, which is an extremely difficult task, as I've never really been able to fit very well. Sometimes I don't really see what people see in me that's so great..
But there are also the positives.
I'm unique and I have my own sense of self, and I'm over-all pretty happy with my life. I can recognize miracles and gifts and God and I have a good relationship with myself. I'm really quite healthy and I don't really care what people think of me, because if they don't like me or who I am, I'm okay with it, because not everyone will. I like to think I'm a pretty good actress and have a good voice that, with help and training, can become extraordinary. I'm secretly a good ice skater and want to ice skate again though my mother won't sign me up for classes and I have an overall good taste in music for someone my age. I stay open-minded in situations and believe in things like love and happy endings and magic and all that jazz.
This all goes through my mind shortly and I ponder. Though I've never really been in this situation, I think I would answer something like this.
"Well, um.. I don't know just wondering what you see in me?"
And then I think of my answer. How would I answer this question?
I would think something like
Weelll I love you because you're an all-over amazing person and you're fun to be around and always seem to have something positive to say even when I'm down. You can make me smile when I feel like dying and I think about you literally every single moment of every day. You make me forget about bad things and make sacrifices and change myself for you. You make me want to try harder, to actually be someone who is worth your precious time. Not to mention I get butterflies by mere memories of you and when I see your face or picture I smile and giggle like a toddler on a carousel.
But, like I said, I have a dim confidence, so I'll think all this for a second, then look down and chew on a nail and reply what I often say to people who ask me Why?
Why are you so loud? Why do you get over-excited about small things? Why are you Pippi Longstocking one second and the next you can be a rabid raccoon after being drenched with a bucket? Why do you dance down the halls, and sing in the shower, and write so much, and say random things, and jump in all directions, and skip a little when you walk, and talk so fast? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Because life is too short, so cherish it. It's not immaturity, in fact, I think of it as a very mature outlook on life. Why not spend all your time trying to have fun? It creates less regret for later? Why? Because it's better than sitting around, being a mopey Cheerio when you can be a Fruit Loop?
"Why Not?" I will answer meekly.
So, with that, I leave you, Girl-In-Blueinites, with a challenge. Be a little more immature, embrace life, face your problems head on, and live for the moment. Because there isn't any reason not to. When the rest of the world tries to beat you down by asking Why?, turn and face the world, do a twirl, stick your tongue out and answer "Well, Why not??"
Love always from your life-loving sister,
Girl In Blue
lessthanthree
